There’s a need for relevant sex ed that doesn’t shy away from subjects like porn, healthy relationships, consent, LGBTQIA+ relationships, and also on how trauma can impact on any of this.
Mainstream sex ed can overemphasise the negatives of sex, like unwanted pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections (STIs). This can increase shame and stigma for people around either enjoying sex too much, or it can add a lot of unnecessary fear for those who don’t want to have sex at all.
Many young people end up turning to porn to learn about how sex really works. But porn wasn’t created to educate, it was made to make money. And learning about sex from porn can lead to some pretty unrealistic expectations on how sex should look and feel, or even who you think you ‘should’ be having sex with.
That’s why we created the Gist, to talk directly about sex and intimacy in a way that gives you the information you need to make your own choices.
Some of you may be sexually active now, some ****may not. It’s normal either way. We’ve pulled together a bunch of info about sex, porn and intimacy to help make things a little easier and clearer for you.
Traditionally ‘sex’ has often been shorthand for sexual intercourse. But sex is actually much more diverse than that.
There is a whole range of physical acts including vaginal, anal, oral, digital (sometimes called 'fingering'), manual (often called a 'handjob' or 'masturbation' for solo sex), or even the use of toys and other supports. So when we talk about sex, we mean any act that makes you feel good sexually.
There are many reasons why we have sex. The one that’s talked about the most in sex ed is to reproduce, or make babies. But for most people, sex is a way to experience mutual pleasure, or get closer with another person. In fact, many types of sex are just for pleasure or connection, and can’t lead to reproduction.
<aside> ❓ Reflection What do you think of when you think of sex?
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Sex means different things to different people, at different times. Not all bodies are the same, and what works for one person might not work for another. Or something that worked for someone else might not work for you.
You might ask yourself: How do I know what works for me, and what doesn’t? What about for my partner? What do I really want? What do they really want?
These are big, but normal questions. And it’s a journey to figure it out. At the end of the day, any type of sex or preference is totally OK, as long as everyone involved is consenting, it’s fair and doesn’t hurt anyone. In other words, it is ethical.
Whether you’re young or old, in some ways, all of us are growing up together in a new world, where social norms, attitudes, and ideas about sex and relationships are changing faster than they ever have before. For example: