<aside> ⚠️ Content Warning This page contains descriptions of types of sexual activity.
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An orgasm, also known as ‘cumming’ or ‘climaxing’, is what happens when you reach the peak of sexual excitement or arousal. It’s the sudden release of sexual tension and pressure from the body, which results in the rhythmic contractions of the pelvic area muscles. During an orgasm, your body releases ‘happy hormones’, such as dopamine and oxytoxcin. Some people might experience sensations in other parts of their body too, as well as an increased heart rate and heavier breathing. For most people, orgasms feel pretty great. That’s why orgasms are often seen as the end goal of sex, although whether or not this is a good thing is up for debate.
It’s different for everyone. Most of the time, orgasms occur from direct contact with the most sensitive parts of the genitals, either during masturbation or during other kinds of sex. Sometimes, people can orgasm without any genital contact at all, or during other types of sexual activity like kissing or outercourse.
Orgasm for people with a vulva
Orgasm for people with a penis
No. Orgasms won’t hurt you.
However, if you find you’re orgasming mostly to porn as a habit, it’s important to know that your brain can become used to certain images, videos and visual cues in order experience pleasure. Frequently orgasming while watching porn can train your brain to become primarily turned on by pornographic images and videos. You may find that you become less ‘turned on’ by relationships and physical connection with others offline.
Some people may find that temporarily pausing their use of porn and masturbation can help them to ‘reset’ their cycles of compulsive porn use and, in turn, help them to feel more control over their own lives. If you have concerns about your own frequency of porn use, you can read more [here].
First things first: it’s OK not to orgasm. While orgasms are often thought of as the end goal of sex, this isn’t the case for everyone, and putting pressure on yourself to orgasm can actually make it even harder to achieve.
<aside> 🧐 Did you know?
While there might sometimes be health or emotional reasons that cause difficulty having an orgasm, sometimes people may never have had an orgasm because of social reasons or unrealistic expectations, like believing that vaginal penetration is needed to orgasm. Around 1 in 4 cis women in Australia couldn’t have an orgasm from penetrative sex in the last 12 months.
*****Source: Sexual Difficulties, Problems, and Help‑Seeking in a National Representative Sample: The Second Australian Study of Health and Relationships 2022
Read more [here]*
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There’s also more to orgasms than just stimulation of the sex organs. Being able to orgasm often depends on how you feel, and being in the right place, at the right time, with the right person, or in the right mental and emotional place.
Things that can affect your experience of orgasm can include: